Gentleman-ness To A Woman's Heart

Ever consider gentleman-ness?  Surely it has many colors, many forms.  And it is not a constant... that is, it changes.  It is morphic.  Not only that, but culture contributes greatly to its definition.  One can easily argue, it is part of culture in the first place, so of course culture has a part, heck not just a part...

Consider the man holding a woman's hand, bowing, and kissing that woman's hand.  Nice, don't you think?

Really?

The next time I meet a woman whom I happened to find... ummm, nice, I will hold her right hand, bow slightly, and then raise her hand to kiss it.   

"Uggghhhh."  

That is her yelling and snapping her hand out of mine.  Shock overcomes the both of us.

"WHAT age do you think you're in?"

"Ummmmmmmmmmm.... The Hollywood age!"

"That was rhetorical!"

Okay, okay.  Forget that scenario.  Just because we see it in movies does not make it right, does not make it part of our culture... a discussion for another time.  Just because 101 year old man did this and the queen of the night loved it and thought this 101 year old man was sooooo cute, realllly does not make it right.  Move on.  

I've come not to like old old men.  Really don't need more competition.

How about the hat... you know, I'm wearing a hat, so I take it off to greet this beautiful lady I am about to meet?!  Do you know what the rumor is in regards to how this started... men wearing hats and taking them off in the presence of a woman?  Well.  In the old days, not too too old.  In Europe, when buildings reached a few stories high, people would throw garbage out of their windows.  And men, to protect their heroic Fabio hair, or their spectacular shiny and baldy crown, started wearing hats.  BUT, (You will not believe this!) when this Fabio meets one of numerous Juliets, he is inclined to protect her from the smell of the garbage that has collected on his head... and, such a gentleman, he takes off the garbage collector and hides it behind his back.

No joke.

Okay, not so believable?  Then on to another... I don't know what I can call these things....

How about the door?  No no.  That is overused.  Then how about the luggage... helping her by taking it upon myself to pick up and carry her luggage.  I go to pick it up.

"No thank you!"

WHAT?  Too confused to think.  "Okay.  Are you sure?"  

I know something is wrong, I did something.  Was I supposed to ask first?  Last time I asked she looked at me like duh.

So the next time comes.  I don't know...  To help or not to help.  I am truly lost.  May be she doesn't like being helped.  So I don't help.  The cab driver comes around to the back of the car.  He looks at me, shakes his head.  "No no no man!  You always help the lady!"

She smiles.

Dang it.  Now I'm competing with this guy from out of no where.  

May be in the old days it was simple.  He kissed the hand.  Took off his hat.  Had to be done.  Period.  Expected.  Not much to think about.  And men had courage.  Spartacus and Maximus and George Washington.  BS.  Simple portrayal from the movies.  I bet men back then struggled just as much trying to figure out when to do what.  Yep.  Just as much.  I bet that is a constant.  The struggle of winning a woman's heart.  It is a winding road with countless obstacles thrown from just about all directions.  And true gentleman-ness, regardless of the age, is simply a must, and invented and discovered along the way.  Not by Hollywood, but by me, and you, and he...